How to Stop Taking Creative Failure so Personally

Another Day in paradise part 4,160 (estimated # of days working in restaurants)

I have failure to report. Why? You may ask. Why is she rubbing everyone’s nose in this?

I don’t know. It is less burdensome than quietly carrying the thoughts that pop into my head about what it means about me. It gives me a chance to stop and switch the lens. Another better and more useful perspective is always available.

Today I do declare that failing creatively is a good thing. It builds resilience. It seems that from where I sit, at least according to the numbers, this newsletter and my writing career as a whole, at least monetarily, is a sinking ship. My career in hospitality, however, is reaching its apex. The goal was to have two lines rising in tandem, but they seem to be wanting to cross. Honestly, this is just another thing you can blame on AI—not because it’s stealing my job. This clearly is more of a hobby than anything (though I wish it wasn’t). But when I fed him my CSV, Claude is the one who told me that my behind the scenes Another Day in Paradise series would be the thing to get free subscribers to convert to paid.

The graph below illustrates my progress in debt pay-off, and I’ve been thinking that the line of declining subscriptions is my failure. Now I realize it is not a reflection of my writing abilities or my worth as a creator but of other people’s willingness to pay. That is not my failing. It’s yours.

See that lens switch? I learned those manipulation tactics from decades of ex-boyfriends. Now no one can ever say I wasted my pretty years.

Anyways, here’s my story from the trenches. Tell me if you like it. Don’t tell me if you don’t. I’m fragile despite the resilience.