My oldest child was an unplanned pregnancy. That positive test arrived at the most inconvenient time in my life. My last year of law school. I was only dating my boyfriend for 6 months when I got pregnant. I had had an abortion when I was 16. 12 years later, here I was again. I made an appointment for the (2nd) abortion. I berated myself for letting this happen again. Once all the negative self talk simmered, I knew I needed to have this child. So I did. And it was single handedly the best decision of my life. I can never look at this boy of mine and see the word “mistake”. I know our stories are different but not really. I resonate with a lot of what you share here. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Interestingly enough, now that I’m sober I can tap into and access so much of the emotion I felt back as that scared and lost 16 year old. I forgot about her and drank her away for years.
Thank you! This was a hard one to write. It brought so many unexpected tears to the surface, but that's kind of the magic of writing these things down-it's like a cleansing. Then I hear from people like you that went through similar things, and everything becomes more manageable. So much effort goes into creating the facade of perfection, and then when we start to dismantle it, and look at what we thought was the ugly stuff underneath, that's where we find the connection. I appreciate you.
This is sad, and real, and beautiful. (Did I tell you previously that I’m new to Substack?). Since I’m new, and love to read, the algorithm takes me up and down the hallways to a Lot of interesting writing—you have written tons! I’m a bona fide fan. You’ve been kind enough to acknowledge my comments (and reply) but, because I like so much of what you’ve written, at some point you may think it’s kind of creepy, so I won’t keep it up. I never figured out how to DM on here, but I did decide I am going to pay—you deserve paid subscribers (as does anyone who does this hard work). You’re my first subscription (yay!) because what you say, and how you say it, really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing yourself so honestly..
My oldest child was an unplanned pregnancy. That positive test arrived at the most inconvenient time in my life. My last year of law school. I was only dating my boyfriend for 6 months when I got pregnant. I had had an abortion when I was 16. 12 years later, here I was again. I made an appointment for the (2nd) abortion. I berated myself for letting this happen again. Once all the negative self talk simmered, I knew I needed to have this child. So I did. And it was single handedly the best decision of my life. I can never look at this boy of mine and see the word “mistake”. I know our stories are different but not really. I resonate with a lot of what you share here. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Interestingly enough, now that I’m sober I can tap into and access so much of the emotion I felt back as that scared and lost 16 year old. I forgot about her and drank her away for years.
Thanks for sharing yourself this way 🫶✨
Thank you! This was a hard one to write. It brought so many unexpected tears to the surface, but that's kind of the magic of writing these things down-it's like a cleansing. Then I hear from people like you that went through similar things, and everything becomes more manageable. So much effort goes into creating the facade of perfection, and then when we start to dismantle it, and look at what we thought was the ugly stuff underneath, that's where we find the connection. I appreciate you.
So true, Julie! We never know how much our stories/our words can help someone else until you speak them. There lies the connection. And healing! ✨
This was good 👍👍
I love you, my beautiful baby!
I love you, my beautiful mom.
This is sad, and real, and beautiful. (Did I tell you previously that I’m new to Substack?). Since I’m new, and love to read, the algorithm takes me up and down the hallways to a Lot of interesting writing—you have written tons! I’m a bona fide fan. You’ve been kind enough to acknowledge my comments (and reply) but, because I like so much of what you’ve written, at some point you may think it’s kind of creepy, so I won’t keep it up. I never figured out how to DM on here, but I did decide I am going to pay—you deserve paid subscribers (as does anyone who does this hard work). You’re my first subscription (yay!) because what you say, and how you say it, really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing yourself so honestly..